I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would get a baby-naming book. Or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it's the way we perceive it." And then I realized I just should have said, "Yeah."

Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"