I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it.

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.