I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!"

I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show it.