Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

I saw a lady on TV, she was born without arms. That's sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't'." That, to me, is even worse in a way. Not only is she missing arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's easy, Lola - you just take two words, put them together, take out the middle letters, put in a comma, and you raise it up!

I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I am wearing a vest. If I had no arms, it would be a jacket.

I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.