I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"
If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
I got some tartar control toothpaste. I still have tartar, but that stuff's under control. I got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fish sticks in anything. That's actually kind of gross. After that joke, I have to clarify that I'm just joking.