I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.

I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.

Earlier I`ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.

I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized!

The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.

I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!"