I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.

One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'

I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers.

Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. "I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!"

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.

Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.