I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.

I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.

Why are there no "during" pictures?

That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons.

If you don't know a light bulb is a three-way light bulb, it messes with your head. You reach to turn it off, and it just gets brighter! That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do! So you turn the switch again, and it gets brighter once more! I will break you, light bulb!

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.