Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.

I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over in that other guy's house.

I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!