I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

This shirt is "dry-clean only"... Which means it's dirty.

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.

If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"