I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

Why are there no "during" pictures?

Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. "I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!"

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free.