When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.

I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it.

Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now.

I mean, you're gonna be left behind if you don't appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira.

I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar.

Wheel of Fortune was an important SAT prep for me.

One could say, that #‎ Masons were raised right.