No matter what Aristotle and the Philosophers say, nothing is equal to tobacco; it's the passion of the well-bred, and he who lives without tobacco lives a life not worth living.

The absence of the beloved, short though it may last, always lasts too long.

The only people who can be excused for letting a bad book loose on the world are the poor devils who have to write for a living.

Folk whose own behavior is most ridiculous are always to the fore in slandering others.

It is a strange enterprise to make respectable people laugh.

It's an odd job, making decent people laugh.

It's true Heaven forbids some pleasures, but a compromise can usually be found.