Humanism is not alive and well in Texas. Different colors and types of Texans do not like one another, nor do they pretend to.

I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.

This is the man (Ronald Reagan) who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.

So keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds.

Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.