I used to go on college campuses 25 years ago and announce I was a feminist, and people thought it meant I believed in free love and was available for a quick hop in the sack. ... Now I go on college campuses and say I'm a feminist, and half of them think it means I'm a lesbian. How'd we get from there to here without passing "Go"?

If an armed nation were a polite nation, America would be paradise. We have more than 200 million guns in private owernship here. But our manners are not getting better.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.

Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.

The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.

When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?