Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge.

Our best loved friend is always in some way our peer.

Oh dear me - it's too late to do anything but accept you and love you - but when you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said "hush" just once!

Mrs. Campbell once attempted to smuggle her pet Pekingese through customs by tucking him inside the upper part of her cape. "Everything was going splendidly," she later remarked, "until my bosom barked."

I believe I was impatient with unintelligent people from the moment I was born: a tragedy - for I am myself three-parts a fool.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

[Moses] probably said to himself, 'Must stop or I shall be getting silly.' That is why there are only ten commandments.