I once undertook on behalf of a friend to smuggle a small dog through the customs. I was of ample proportions, and managed to conceal the little dog upon my person. All went well until my bosom barked.

I do not really care what people do as long as they do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.

Mrs. Campbell once attempted to smuggle her pet Pekingese through customs by tucking him inside the upper part of her cape. "Everything was going splendidly," she later remarked, "until my bosom barked."

You can do anything in London, as long as you don't do it on the street.

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

I have laid my cheek upon the earth and felt it my mother's bosom.