I was looking at myself, and acknowledged that I wasn't in love at all with him [husband]. I was in love with having children.

My mom, we had a relationship. I knew she loved me. I always knew she loved me. But she didn't, openly or overtly, express, you know, affection and love. But I - I knew. I knew she did.

I do believe that children are all blessings from god. And I feel it's all positive, it's positive experience. You know, I don't like to dwell on any of the negative. And - a lot of people do.

Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. I was very unconditionally loved and accepted, I felt, by my father.

I went through about seven years of trying. And through artificial insemination. And through medication. And all of which was unsuccessful.

It's a very different bond, siblings and friends. And I just - I wanted that huge family, just to surround me, be surrounded by.

I have no interest in being famous. I'd love to vanish from the public eye as soon as I can.