I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad.

Some days I woke up and got out of bed and brushed my teeth like any normal human being; some days I woke up and laid in bed and looked at the ceiling and wondered what the hell the point was of getting out of bed and brushing my teeth like any normal human being.

Life's not about feeling better, it's about getting the job done.

I'm glad you came here and got the help you needed," Neil says, and he shakes my hand in that way that people do in here to remind themselves that you're the patient and they're the doctor/volunteer/ employee. They like you, and they genuinely want you to do better, but when they shake your hand you feel that distance, that slight disconnect because they know that you're still broken somewhere, that you might snap at any moment.

I had fooled myself into thinking that I was something important to the rest of the world.

That made me happy. That was my Anchor.

And I could have died right then. And considering how things went, I really should have.