I hate elitists. I hate conceited people. I hate pompous people.

It's not as if I can just pop on my show and be rude if I've had a hard day.

The other day at a drive-through, I reminded the teenage girl serving me that she forgot my drinks. She looked at me, hissed, rolled her eyes, and then took her sweet time getting me the sodas.

Sexy ain't guys like Churchill and Lincoln.

I feel strongly that I need to try to make my shows as real as possible. What you see is what you get.

We're teaching our kids that attributes as vague and relatively meaningless as a toothy smile or a fine head of hair make a fine statement about a person.

Is it me, or is the government more concerned about its own tax headaches, than your tax headaches?