You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles.