Actually, I'm not super-kickass at a lot of things.

Being a man of the theater and a hedonist, I find the idea of building coffins very romantic.

I've split my life between a few different disciplines.

If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.

People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.

I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.