Technically, we're all half centaur.

The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, "Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality."

I never went too long without a job. The problem was a lot of the early jobs are almost more demoralizing than unemployment.

Shut your damn mouth.

I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.

There's a lot of common sense ... which I feel like we have lost touch with.

I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.