In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Dogs are joiners; if they were guys, their idea of a good time would be to attend an Elks luncheon.

Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.

Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not at home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.

Can you envision a world without men? No wrongdoing and bunches of euphoric, fat women.

In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally - the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra - but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person.