My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not at home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.

Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.

Can you envision a world without men? No wrongdoing and bunches of euphoric, fat women.

Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally - the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra - but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person.

My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.