My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

Can you envision a world without men? No wrongdoing and bunches of euphoric, fat women.

We all know how cats feel about traveling in a car. You never see a cat with his head out the window, fur flying in the breeze. A cat is never anyone's designated driver.

In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Dogs are joiners; if they were guys, their idea of a good time would be to attend an Elks luncheon.

Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.