I can take any amount of criticism, as long as it is unqualified praise.

Good heavens, television is something you appear on; you don't watch.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?)

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.