Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.