I'm an enormously talented man, and there's no use pretending that I'm not.
Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.
Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.
You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday.
I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.