Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.

You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable.

It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.

Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.