When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

When I was three or four, I was really good at drawing and painting, and everyone used to say, "You're going to go to art college." I didn't really know what that meant.

My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.

I'm a mischievous drunk.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.