I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.

I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.

Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.

Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.