Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.