Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.

All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!