I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.

You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.

There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.

I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys