I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.

You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.

I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair.

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.