That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about how I'd need to earn a living somehow, but he's been totally behind me, forking out money he didn't really have to send me to university. Every other comedian I've met had to fight their parents to be allowed to do this but mine have been brilliant.

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.