The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of money.

That's another thing about being a certain age that I've noticed: I try as much as possible not to look in the mirror.

In the way that women forget the pain of childbirth, men forget that they cry in movies.

If Sigmund Freud had watched Phil Donahue he would never have wondered what women want.

I am living in the Google years, no question of that. And there are advantages to it. When you forget something, you can whip out your iPhone and go to Google. The Senior Moment has become the Google moment, and it has a much nicer, hipper, younger, more contemporary sound, doesn't it? By handling the obligations of the search mechanism, you almost prove you can keep up.... You can't retrieve you life (unless you're on Wikipedia, in which case you can retrieve an inaccurate version of it).

Success comes and goes. Your flops stay with you for life.

We weren't meant to have futures, we were meant to marry them. We weren't meant to have politics, or careers that mattered, or opinions, or lives; we were meant to marry them. If you wanted to be an architect, you married an architect.