Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I was there, and I never been to one of them, and I like a parade. I always like a parade. So, I go there, and it turns out, it's just a bunch of gay guys.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

I guess [Richard] Pryor was that good. I never saw him in a theater, but I imagine he was that good, because he was such a phenomenal actor.

Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.