Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.