I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.

We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves.

RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.

If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.