There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. By carefully chronicling the current events of contemporary life, it shows us of what very little importance such events really are. By invariably discussing the unnecessary, it makes us understand what things are requisite for culture, and what are not.

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality.

The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.

Always be a little unexpected.

The only thing worse than being misquoted is being sentenced to two years' hard labour for buggery

If you are going to tell people the truth, you had better make them laugh or they will kill you.