I like the word f-k. F-king deal with it and move on to the first f-king question you have.

I didn’t have a clue what love was about until I met Sharon.

There was a cinema called The Orient outside the community centre where we rehearsed in Six Ways, and whenever it showed a horror film the queue would go all the way down the street and around the corner. 'Isn't it strange how people will pay money to frighten themselves?' I remember Tony [Iommi] saying one day. 'Maybe we should stop doing blues and write scary music instead.'

The most unbelievable thing about my behaviour is that I was convinced it was entirely f**king normal.

I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.

I tried heroin once and I didn't like it. It frightened me.

There are no uncriminal crimes.