I wanted to be the fifth Beatle.

Still, one of the few good things about being dyslexic is that when I say I don’t read reviews, I mean I don’t read reviews.

All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don't subscribe to any of that. It's all just music. I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who's to say what is and isn't a certain type of music?

Black illusion is all I ever see.

I can't change the past, but I can try to make a better future for me.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.