Don't ask me, I don't know

You learn who your friends are when the sh-t hits the fan.

I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister.

I never thought I could write anything or do a show sober, ever. But I did the Black Sabbath shows sober, and it was so much better fun for me, and everybody.

The rest of the guys in Sabbath became boring old farts, and there I was, this crazy guy, still into wrecking hotel rooms and having parties.

And I never missed one concert. In 89 shows, I think I did one a bit suspect show. In the old days, I'd pull gigs left, right and center because I was too f - - up.

Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the f-ck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!