The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.