You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

In your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.

Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.

No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.