Well, why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good square look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.

As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across premieval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.

Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.