When you're alone you don't do much laughing.

I was in rare fettle and the heart had touched a new high. I don't know anything that braces one up like finding you haven't got to get married after all.

Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.

It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was a sinister, leering, Underworld sort of animal, the kind that would spit out of the side of its mouth for twopence.

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?

It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.