Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody you want. And money is more effective than politics both in solving problems and in providing individual independence. To rid ourselves of all the trouble in the world, we need to make money. And to make money, we need to be free.

When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .

Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on a variety of different levels in a variety of ways, and it's worked pretty well.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Then there's politics. Just imagine politics with its dumbbell element subtracted. There would be no Republican candidates. There would be no Democratic voters. The whole system would collapse.

From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.