Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.

I had grown up as a feature writer, and basically my career had been in The National Lampoon and as a magazine editor, and I'd never been a reporter.

Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.