African famine is not a visitation of fate. It is largely man-made, and the men who made it are largely Africans.

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.

How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?

If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.

All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.