Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
P. J. O'RourkeThere are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.
P. J. O'RourkeGovernment usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. The difference between the political process and an honest life is the difference between parading around waving picket signs while hollering catcalls in front of the White House and getting up in the morning to go make a living.
P. J. O'RourkeThe American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
P. J. O'RourkeName me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you've half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're doing a hundred miles an hour in a suburban side street.
P. J. O'RourkeBachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is what my girlfriend said when she found the gin bottles under the couch. I believe her exact words were, "You're a disgusting, drunken mess." And that's a good description of a party, if it's done right.
P. J. O'Rourke