Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.

There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

And worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. This is especially true if we're careful to pick the biggest possible problems to worry about. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody want to help Mom do the dishes.

The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invented algebra. And this is why we have to go to war with Saddam Hussein this minute and bomb the shish kebab out of him before he invents trig and chemistry and the whole of America flunks high school.

Satan probably wouldn't have talked so big if God had been his wife.

I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.