Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793.

Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.